REPRODUCTIVE AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONS. WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT A DIMINISHED SEXUAL DRIVE?
Posted on Mar 12, 2009 under Cancer | No CommentWork with your doctors to find out why your drive is diminished. They can determine whether medical problems are contributing to the change. If medications may be playing a role, discuss the possibility of using alternative medicines that have less effect on libido.
If there are no obvious medical abnormalities, or if medical problems are permanent, evaluate your general level of energy and your mood. If you are fatigued, make efforts to get more rest. If you are anxious or depressed, try to deal with the sources of these feelings as well as the feelings themselves. Sometimes an alleviation of fatigue, anxiety, and depression suffices to lessen sexual difficulties. Even if medication or a medical problem is causing or contributing to the sexual problem, attention to your energy and mood will help.
It is common to have an altered body image, either because of obvious changes such as the loss of a body part or the placement of a stoma (opening for a “bag” to collect urine or feces) or because of general associations with having cancer. Addressing the issue of body image and self-confidence will encourage improved self-esteem and a return to healthy sexual function.
If you had a problem with self-image before your cancer, this is a good opportunity to deal with it. Open discussion is an effective means of moving toward resolving problems of self-esteem. Try talking with
•your sexual partner
• a social worker, professional counselor, or therapist with a special interest in sexuality
• other cancer survivors of the same kind of cancer or same kind of surgery
Decreased sexual desire can reflect a change in your relationship to your sexual partner. Human sexual desire and function are affected by feelings of anger, disappointment, fear of rejection, and frustration with the sexual partner, as well as by feelings of inadequacy.
Occasionally, patients or their partners may be sexually inhibited by concerns that
• cancer is infectious or contagious (it is not contagious)
• sexual activity may weaken or hurt the recovering partner
• the cancer is a punishment for prior “bad behavior” (this may be a conscious or a subconscious thought)
Decreased sexual interest is a normal part of grieving and spontaneously returns to normal with time. If you are sad about personal losses, others’ losses, or the general pain and losses of life, you will have to start to grieve these losses before your sexual desire returns.
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