YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/WIVES’ SEXUALITY: TYPES OF “SEXUAL” WIFE
Posted on May 18, 2009 under General health | No CommentI offered twelve types of husbands derived from the interviews. These were provided for discussion and for the fun of reviewing stereotypes that can emerge from a limited view of sex. Compare these twelve wife categories with the twelve husband categories. As I suggested in super marital sex opportunity number six, try to “match them up,” try to see those times when you and your spouse might have been acting out roles assigned by “sexpec-tations” rather than enjoying the opportunity for “sharegasms.”
1. The Helpee
I know that if I’m happy, he’s happy. God knows, I try to be happy. I try to respond in the way he wants, but I have to work on my groans a little more.
WIFE
This is the wife who feels that her role is to be the responder, to react in the sex-manual-predicted ways to the husband’s sexual ministrations. It seems from my work with couples that ministration is far more dangerous to sexual fulfillment than masturbation. She feels that her sexual response is a measure of her husband’s effectiveness rather than her own self-representation.
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2. The Hounded
I love to hug and hug him hard, but when I do, he always gets harder than my hug. If I don’t want sex, I just don’t hug.
WIFE
This is the wife who feels that any sign of tenderness may be the overture to sex rather than an expression of love. Some wives felt that they had to monitor their expressions of feelings and touching for fear they would set off a chain reaction.
3. The Faker
I’ve never had an orgasm, but I’ll bet I fake it better than it actually is. It could never be as good as I make it look.
WIFE
-This is the wife who has learned to pretend. Feeling that her husband will not be fulfilled until she is fulfilled, she has learned to act rather than experience, to try rather than be. While there is nothing wrong with a little drama and acting in sexual encounters, faking it to “get it done” ultimately destroys any hope of intimate sexual communication.
4. The Hurrier
Someday, someday, I hope we can really take some time with this. I can get off quick, but it seems that I am trying to get off more than trying to enjoy us making love.
WIFE
This wife who is capable of extensive and fulfilling sexual response but rushes herself for the sake of time. She may feel that her husband is tiring, is struggling to control his ejaculation, which he has defined as his orgasm, or is becoming bored or anxious to get on with it. As a result she pushes herself to early and abbreviated sexual response.
5. The Piece
I feel like a piece of ass, just a piece. It’s funny how men are hunks, large hunks, and we are pieces, small pieces. We are diminished even in size.
WIFE
This wife feels that her husband is making love to someone, but not necessarily her. She feels that she represents “a woman” more than her “self.” She does not feel valued as a person but needed as a sexual outlet.
*152\97\8*
